Rader was anxious, depressed, on meds; I suppose we had some idea that he could consider suicide. It still blindsided us. Please read: HALF of parents have no idea. #suicideprevention #mentalhealth #AskTheQuestion: Are you thinking about suicide? https://t.co/1J80ZynHkS
— Rader Ward Foundation (@RaderWardFound) January 20, 2019
lighthouse project FAQ answers misconceptions about suicide
Still more useful information from the Columbia Lighthouse Project: their FAQ. In addition to addressing questions about using the Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale (with their six-question protocol), they also cover general questions and misconceptions about people at risk for suicide, including this one:
DOES ASKING PEOPLE ABOUT SUICIDE PUT THE IDEA INTO THEIR HEADS?
No, and for people who are considering suicide it can actually be a relief to talk about it. A seminal study by one of the Columbia Protocol developers — published in 2005 in the Journal of the American Medical Association — found that if you ask high school students about suicide, it doesn’t cause them to become suicidal or even distressed. For depressed students, asking the questions actually lowered their distress.
A review of all 13 research papers on this issue that were published from 2001 to 2014 found that none showed a statistically significant increase in suicidal ideation. According to the resulting report, “Our findings suggest acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce, rather than increase suicidal ideation, and may lead to improvements in mental health in treatment-seeking populations.”
Visit the page to see the other important questions answered (such as "If someone intended to attempt suicide, why would that person tell you?"), and to follow links to the studies mentioned above.
six lifesaving questions
Building on yesterday's post, here is an example of the Columbia Lighthouse Project's community card with the six-question protocol to help someone who may be considering suicide. This example is from the card for friends and family. There are other similar cards for a spouse, parent, or teen, and another set for health care workers and first responders, coaches, teachers, etc.
Follow this link for the families, friends, and neighbors protocol.
And this one for communities and healthcare.
lighthouse project: anyone can use suicide prevention protocol
A lot of great things can be said about the Columbia Lighthouse Project, but I'm going to focus on one point: they've developed a six-question protocol anyone can use to help someone who may be suicidal.
Click below to see the Community Cards they've made to guide you through asking questions "to determine whether someone needs help and if immediate action is needed." Then look around the website to see the wealth of other resources there.
donate now through Facebook
Hooray! The good news keeps rolling in! I've completed Facebook's approval process to accept donations as a nonprofit. There's now a donate button on the foundation Facebook page below the cover photo, and also you'll be able to select Rader Ward Foundation if you do a Facebook fundraiser for your birthday or another occasion. (Here's an easy link for starting a fundraiser: https://www.facebook.com/fund/RaderWardFoundation/)
No plans in the works yet for a specific fundraising push, but of course donations are welcome any time!
Other donation avenues are here on the website (click the photo of Rader in the red Hawaiian shirt on the home page) and soon, through our Guidestar page.
now accepting scholarship applications!
Big news to announce today: the Rader Ward Memorial Scholarship application is open! The Rader Ward Foundation will award need-based partial scholarships to three Montessori schools in our area, Greenville County, S.C.
The happiest years of Rader's life were those he spent as a student at Montessori School of Mauldin, from age three through fifth grade. An exceptionally bright and creative child, Rader began to feel stifled and discouraged once he was enrolled in public middle school. We know there are other elementary- and middle-school-aged children whose needs are not well met by the traditional educational model. We hope to help some of those who aren't easily able to afford tuition to a school more appropriate to their learning styles.
Our three partner schools are Five Oaks Academy, Montessori School of Greenville, and Montessori School of Mauldin. Parents may apply for their students to any or all of the schools (each school has its own enrollment application). The Rader Ward Scholarship application only needs to be completed once for consideration for aid to any of the three schools. Our scholarship application organization, FAST, charges a $45 fee to apply.
We are not yet sure how many scholarships we will award each year or to each school, or what the exact amount of the awards will be. As we determine what the needs are in our community, and how best to budget to sustain our ability to give into the future, those numbers should become clearer.
If you know someone whose creative student is struggling to succeed in a traditional educational setting, please pass along our information to them.
Mario Music Monday: best accordion covers
grief and the key to resilience
considering college mental health and well being
Read the other articles in the series here:
Cannabis and the College Campus: Considering the Impact on Students in a Changing Legal Climate
The Mental and Physical Well-Being of Incoming Freshmen: Three Decades of Research
Why We Should Partner with Students to Address Campus Mental Health
It Doesn’t Always Get Better for Queer-Spectrum and Trans-Spectrum College Students
College Students of Color: Confronting the Complexities of Diversity, Culture, and Mental Health
i know where i live
I'm posting some of the writing I did a year ago, starting with the first four pieces I shared then, on my own Facebook page (it would be another six months before I created the foundation page). You can find the newly-shared pieces here at the top of the blog for now. Once they've been up a while, I'll sort them chronologically.
I’m taking an online Writing Your Grief course through refugeingrief.com. Every day there’s a writing prompt that offers a few ideas for us to respond to. Today (January 10, 2018) was Day 3 and I chose to write about “I know where I live.” All of the writing is very personal, of course. Most of it I probably will not share publicly. But here is today’s.
__________
I know where I live. It's where you don't, anymore. I'm here; you're gone. You should be in this space. I sit at the computer desk. If you had a ghost, it would be here, in this chair, hovering over this keyboard, moving this mouse. Letting the creativity spill from your fingertips through the keys, creating worlds for others to explore. Your games took what was inside of you and made it real, visible, conceivable. Those games, they live on, but you don't. The characters you invented still live. Their hearts beat with zeroes and ones; they continue their quests. They are immortal, I suppose, as much as anything in this world, until its end. I guess that's true of many creations, that they outlive their creators. That's just the way of things.
I know where I live. I live in a quicksand place where it's important to keep moving so I don't get drawn down into the depths. I know that in this place, nowhere I want to go lies along a straight path from where I am. Is there any such thing as progress? Or is it just survival? What is my quest? If I were one of your characters, what would you have me do? What would be my goal? What kind of opposition would I face? Would there be any help available to me along the way?
I know where I live. And that I just have to keep living.
now matters now: speak caring messages
From NowMattersNow.org: "Caring messages are a simple way to reduce the space between us. Here are some examples of messages you can send to somebody you know is going through a hard time. Steal and adapt to your liking."
Do you know someone who needs a caring message today? If you are the one who needs it, here's one from me.
"You're a human being, not a human doing. Your worth is intrinsic, and your strength is likely greater than you think it is." — John Brown
fellow warriors: Hilinski's Hope
Hilinski's Hope was formed, as was the Rader Ward Foundation, after the loss of a son to suicide. Tyler Hilinski was an outstanding college football player, so Hilinski’s Hope focuses on college mental health, particularly among athletes. They are working to fund programs that will help educate, advocate, and to destigmatize mental illness.
Previously on this feed I’ve posted articles about the Hilinski family. This one from Ivan Maisel, a journalist who also lost a son to suicide, affected me profoundly. And this one from Sports Illustrated was excellent as well. The Hilinski’s Hope website has an entire News & Events section comprising many of the wonderful articles and videos about Tyler and about the foundation’s work.
find your anchor
Mario Monday: super light show!
these great grief books might help
check out these suicide prevention phone apps
SCYSPI writes: “Did you know that there are apps on your phone that can help if you or someone you know is having struggles with mental health or thoughts of suicide? Here are some apps that can help you develop suicide safety plans, teach you suicide prevention skills, provide easy access crisis prevention resources, and many other services that can help you #stopsuicide. Visit our website to download and/or print this document and all other print based resources that we provide! “
To this excellent list I would add notOK App, a super easy safety plan designed by teens. Thank you, SCYSPI! #WhileIBreatheIHope
how do we meet our country's mental health needs?
grief: there is no one right way
If you are grieving, or if someone you care about is grieving, please remember these important words from Megan Devine of Refuge In Grief. I'm thinking of my mother-in-law and family as we mourn my father-in-law, who was buried yesterday. My heart also breaks for my friends: Amy, who has just lost her son in a car accident, and Stacey, whose daughter died suddenly from medical complications.