• Home
  • Contact
  • scholarship application
  • the latest
Rader Ward Foundation
  • Home
  • Contact
  • scholarship application
  • the latest

poetry month: look back

Here we are: The final “Two-for-Tuesday” day today. And after today, only two more prompts to go. For today’s prompt:

  1. Write a look back poem and/or…

  2. Write a don’t look back poem. Because some folks just want to keep their eyes on the road ahead.

    — Robert Lee Brewer, Writer’s Digest


look back

I have to look back
because ‘back’ is the only place my son lives

I carried him for 9 months,
he was born,
he lived and thrived,
fought and struggled,
almost made it to 16,
and then was gone.

So I have to look back
because he’s not in the future
and I won’t let go

Every day
is a day farther away
from the span of his existence

I can’t, I wouldn’t,'
turn back time,
but neither do I march fearlessly ahead

I dwell in both places
doing what I can to survive
a fragmented life.


“Don’t look back” is such a common saying. But it’s really not even possible. All of us decide how to live and behave today based on what we have learned from the multitude of our previous experiences. If we didn’t look back, we’d never get anywhere, because we would keep making the same mistakes and never figure out how to advance.

I don’t spend my days reminiscing about the past, about my life with Rader in it. I’m not stuck there, but I definitely visit! Today, nearly three years after his death, I have a rewarding and fulfilling existence. But his life has a profound influence on mine every day.

Albus Dumbledore told Harry Potter regarding the Mirror of Erised, in which Harry was able to see himself together with his late parents, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” I agree. I look back, and ahead.

tags: aprpad, look back, don't look back, love and loss, life and death, suicide loss survivor, mirror of erised, Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore
Tuesday 04.28.20
Posted by Susan Ward